4 Things Confident, Imperfect People Do To Keep Their Integrity

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Okay, now this post is building a little bit on the last post, which was talking about perfection. Before you move forward into something, you want to get it perfect, and that perfectionist thing that holds us back.

Okay now, that was dealing with actions that you want to take. Directions that you want to go in, goals that you have.

Who are You Trying to Please?

There’s another type of, sort of, perfectionism that we tend to let guide our lives and control our decisions. And it comes a little bit, I suppose, maybe from wanting to please people. Wanting people to be happy with us.

But I think the biggest thing is – to live in integrity with yourself. To know that you’re doing the right thing. And to know that, even if you make mistakes, even if you’re not perfect – there’s a way to handle it with integrity and with grace.

An Answer To People Who Expect You To Be Perfect

The other day, someone I know well was talking. We met in the hallway, and she said – she said, “Abe, I know you’re a coach. So can you explain to me, why is it that you get angry? Why are you upset sometimes?”

Apparently I had just, I guess blown my stack, and she had noticed it. It was with someone else, another colleague. And she was concerned.

She was like, “Aren’t coaches better than that? Don’t coaches not get angry?”

I felt bad initially. Yeah, it was a little bit of an uncomfortable situation. Then I realized something.

Being Flawed with Integrity

It’s okay to be human, as long as we do it with integrity. As long as we’re willing to do the right thing when we need to, okay?

It’s not about pleasing that person. It’s not about making that person think that I’m perfect. But it’s about living a life that, despite our flaws, despite our failures – we can still feel confident that we’re doing the right thing and we’re moving in the right direction.

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]It’s okay to be a flawed human, as long as we do it with integrity.[/shareable]

I want to give you 4 tips that you can use to live your life with integrity, and to avoid that feeling that you have to be perfect, and that you have to be so good.

You don’t want to just lay your dirty laundry out on the table for everybody to see. But you also, you don’t want to be hiding, you don’t want to be living in fear that you’re going to mess up or you’re going to do the wrong thing.

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]You don’t want to be hiding, you don’t want to be living in fear that you’re going to mess up or you’re going to do the wrong thing.[/shareable] [offer-box href=”http://sostartover.com” linktext=”Reminder: Have you checked out my book? I just released “So? Start Over!: Experience Clarity, Do What Matters, Live Your Dream” which includes worksheets, cheatsheets, and bonus material. Click here to check it out!” securecheckout=”true” footnote=”Get It on Amazon”]

1. Accept yourself.

Seriously, I mean you really have to accept yourself. Learn to love yourself, okay? And that’s hard for a lot of people to do.

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]Accept yourself. [/shareable]

One simple exercise is just go look in a mirror, in the morning, or in the evening and just say, “I love you. I love you and I trust you.”

Not easy for most people to say, but that acceptance is a key to being able to then handle those difficulties, handle those problems, handle those challenges with grace. (Read Love Your Body)

The next one that I think is really important, this is something that I’ve tried to live my whole life by.

2. Be open, and be honest.

Okay? Just be honest with people. Don’t build up walls, don’t cover up. Don’t pretend to be something that you’re not.

3. Be willing to apologize when you need to.

And this was a big one for me when I was a young parent.

I was always – when you’re raising small kids, it’s like, you feel like you just have to be perfect for them. You’ve got to give them the best sample, the best thing ever. And if you mess up, you’ve ruined them for life. That’s not the case.

When you mess up, just say, “Hey, honey I’m sorry I shouldn’t have gotten upset at you the way I did. I’m sorry I over reacted. Will you forgive me?”

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone” text=”Don’t be afraid to mess up and apologize. Let children see a sample of you living with integrity, even if you mess up.”]Don’t be afraid to mess up and apologize. Children will learn more and grow with integrity, because they’ll see a sample of you living with integrity, even if you mess up.[/shareable]

4. Stop focusing on trying to please everybody.

There are going to be naysayers, there are going to be people who don’t like you. There are going to be naysayers, people who you don’t resonate with.

We’re not meant to interact with and be best buddies with everybody in the world. It takes all kinds to make a world. And just be happy with that.

Learn to connect to people, learn to be nice to people, learn to be cordial.

Don’t worry about making everybody happy all of the time. You simply can’t.

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Alright, now here’s your thought provoking quote for the day.

[shareable cite=”Zig Ziglar” text=”With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide.”]With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing. So you will have no guilt.[/shareable]

Alright, once again, here’s your affirmation for today. Remember – write it out, or write it on the wall on a mirror or wherever you can put it. Look at it at least twice a day. Once in the morning before you – when you wake up. Before you hit your day. Before you go to bed. And say it at least 3 times each time you look at it.

[shareable cite=”Louis Hay”]I’m in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing. #affirmation[/shareable]