Feeling the need to be real in our lives, be it in love, at work, with friends, or with your family can be stressful, if we are not used to opening up.
Fear is the biggest thing that stands in the way, specially if we’ve been hurt or had bad experiences after we tried to open up or be real with others in the past.
Have you found yourself thinking some of these thoughts?
My friends might judge me.”
The real me is not as interesting as he is.”
Relaxing around my friends or coworkers could leave me open to negative comments.”
I still haven’t figured out who I am.”
If I can’t live up to what I say about myself, I’ll have a hard time admitting I failed.”
Telling her I love her will make things complicated between us.”
If I am open about my beliefs, I won’t be taken seriously.”
Speaking up in meetings could bring me a lot more work.”
‘Pride comes before a fall’, so I shouldn’t avoid talking about myself.”
These kinds of thoughts are usually programing which we’ve picked up, in some cases, from our parents or family, in other cases, from experiences we’ve been through in life which have caused us to arrive at a conclusion or belief about ourselves and what we are capable of.
[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]Creatively visualize in great detail the benefits you look forward to experiencing once you are open and real with others. [/shareable]
Here are 5 tips to help you live your authentic self.
- Imagine the ideal outcome you wish you have. Creatively visualize in great detail the benefits you look forward to experiencing once you are open and real with others. See yourself on the other side.
- Clarify your personal values. The more you understand yourself and what is important to you, the easier it becomes to be real with others because it will come naturally. (A coach can be a great help in the values elicitation process.)
- Feel the fear and do it anyway. The fear and uncomfortable feeling is not a danger sign in this scenario but rather a sign that you are about to grow. Your mind doesn’t want change. It’s afraid of experiencing the unknown, it wants to stay where it is comfortable.
- Pick and choose your friends and acquaintances carefully. Spend time with people who will support you and who you are. You need people who will challenge you to keep growing and progressing. You may have heard the old adage, “We become the 5 people we spend the most time with.”
- Fail faster. The sooner you make mistakes or find yourself loosing relationships, as you become real with others, the sooner you will clarify who is worth spending your time on. You will also realize sooner that it’s not that scary to be honest and real with people.
[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]I know myself well and I live authentically. #affirmation[/shareable]
[reminder]What do you feel keeps you from being authentic with people in your life?[/reminder]
