Getting on the same page with your team can be frustrating. Do you ever find yourself thinking “How could I have been any clearer, about what I wanted to them to do?” or  “Why can’t they just do this one simple thing?” Managing people, parenting or communicating in general can really test our patience sometimes.

My friend, a business owner and a mother, asked me if I had a book I could recommend, which might help her in management. She could have just done a quick Google search and found something right away.

But she asked me, a coach, and yes, I did have a book in mind. More importantly I felt that I had some tools which are incredibly helpful in any sphere where we work and communicate with people.

Personally, I don’t want to simply put a message out there, or get across some instruction to those I work with or those who work under me. As a manager, my goal is to be able to engage them and not simply get them to hear me. How can we do this most effectively?

[callout]Two books I recommended to my friend are Coaching for Performance and Co-active Coaching. You can get them on Amazon by clicking on the titles. [/callout]

I find the secret is in some of the basic tenets of coaching. I wrote about using some of these tools as father, in a previous post. Naturally the question arises,

How can something like coaching, which is by nature non-directional, help in an environment where we are meant to be leading and directing people?

Let me give you 3 coaching insights that could potentially turn your management around when applied with integrity.

  • The hallmark of a great coach is their ability to ask the right questions, fueled by their insatiable curiosity. This is not rocket science, but it does take some practice to hone this skill. Open questions are an invaluable asset to any manager seeking to engage the people they work with. Rather than stating “This report is useless,” or asking a closed question, “Does this report look good to you,” consider trying the following questions:
    1. What is the purpose of your report?
    2. In what way do you think this draft accomplished that?
    3. What other points do you feel need to be included?
  • This brings us to a valuable to aspect of coaching. By using open questions, which engage the other person, we get people involved in finding the solutions and a way forward. This inspires them to take ownership of the course of action to be taken. This feeling ownership in regards to what to do is essential to the individual performing that action to their full potential.
  • The deal breaker in reaching that point of ownership is to take time to truly listen. I would like to leave you with one simple idea. Listening should not be done solely from the position t of how it impacts the listener or their goals, but first and foremost to really understand the person speaking. This way the communication is deeper and everyone becomes engaged in the conversation and the outcome of the conversation.

A manager, a parent, or anyone working with people, can up their game by honing their skills as a communicator.

Asking open questions and taking time to listen, are coaching skills that we would do well to make part of our understanding and education early in life. However, it’s never to late to make them an effective part of your work and life starting now.

In what situations do you find you need to engage people in reaching decisions and taking actions on those decisions? How can you adjust your approach in those situations in order to be a more effective communicator and motivator?

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