When it comes to joy-killers, stress has a way of zapping any energy reserves you may have. Fun or pleasure may be the last thing you are able to think about, while the concerns that are stressing you are still in your head.
A friend of mine texted me the other day asking if I had any tips for relieving stress. She is self-employed and runs a small English teaching business. Of course she also puts a lot of care and time into raising her family, keeping in good communication with friends and relatives, and investing in her marriage. Any of these things could take up all her time.
Some pressure can be healthy and instrumental in moving us forward in life.
Good pressure can help us focus and even get more done, but what about those times when it just builds up and you start feeling it in your body as well as you head? My friend has recently been struggling with migraines as well.
No one is immune to the threat of stress and it will build up from time to time, so what can you do to compensate and get things back in balance before you blow a gasket?
1. Get things out of your head
One of the biggest sources of stress is relying on our brain to keep track of everything. You end up with the feeling that there’s something you’re forgetting. You may recall what you “forgot”, but the cost on your mental energy in doing so very high.
- Write things down
- Keep a journal
- Make to-do lists
- Keep checklists
It has been argued that our active memory can only work with four things at once, so when you’re trying to work on something and keep a to do list in your head at the same time, your overtaxing your capabilities and adding unnecessary stress to your brain. (Read Getting Things Done)
2. Ask powerful questions
Whether you are aware of it or not, and whether actively use it or not, your brain is a skilled goal completing machine. If you say you want to get from point A to point B it goes right to work figuring out how to do it.
So often we stress because we don’t know exactly what we are doing or what we are working towards. However, when we do know, we often fail to ask the right questions, allowing ourselves to get overwhelmed and stressed out because we are not getting the results we are expecting. Here are some questions to get you started:
- “What would it take for ______ to happen?”
- “What is my desired outcome?”
- “What are the next action steps?”
- “What can I get other people to help me with?”
- “How true is it that this needs to happen to reach that goal?”
3. Have fun, enjoy pleasures, and take some downtime
Stop putting fun or relaxation off until you’re finished with everything. Learn how to cut off and recharge. In fact we can be more productive when we do work if we have regular times to “recharge”.
It may be hard to understand how a recreational or downtime activity is going to benefit the goals you are working towards, but the parts of your brain which are handling your work and which are under stress are able to take a break and recuperate, when you engage a different part of your brain a “downtime” activity. Here are some I’ve enjoyed:
- Get a massage
- Read an exciting book
- Call a friend, but don’t talk about work, have fun
- Get a pedicure
- Buy a plant
- Watch a funny movie
- Meditate
- Go out and meet with friends
- Play a board game with your family
- Play a sport with friends
- Take a deep breaths for a few minutes if that’s all the time you have
- Go for a walk
- Look at plants or watch pets play
- Do a hobby
- Paint a picture
- Tend a garden
