4 Things to Remember When Negative Family Members Threaten Your Joy

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Today I want to address a question that came in on Facebook, okay.

How Family Might Be Bringing You Down

Someone wrote in. They were very interested in the topic of communication and I had been sharing a few things, particularly the idea of, “Well, if I am going in a direction in my life and I want to CHANGE, I want to be something different, how does that work, if my own family, my own relatives are bringing me down? They’re not going where I want to go and I can’t do anything to change that situation.”

And this is a question that came to me on a private note, I respect this person’s privacy, so no names or anything.

But it’s a very interesting idea and I thought about it and I know that a lot of people are stuck in that situation. The thing about it is that it’s not something that you have to just suffer through, there are things that you can do.

Thank you for asking that question because it’s a really great question and I know a lot of people are probably faced with this. So hopefully this answer will help many of you out there and let me know if it resonates with you.

Okay so here are some short tips that I believe can really make a difference in this area.

1. This Brings Positive Energy Into the Moment

One of them is, learn to BE PRESENT. Okay, I can’t necessarily tell you exactly how this works and all the science behind it, but it’s a great insight that I learned from studying the work of Eckhart Tolle when he talked about The Power of Now.

And the simple idea is this, when you are present in the moment, you are not DISTRACTED by the future, you are not THINKING about the past, you are not actually trying to GET AWAY from it, you are not REGRETTING the things that you said that put you in this difficult situation, you are not thinking how you could quickly MOVE away from this situation, or get RID of the person, or whatever the case might be.

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]When you are present in the moment, you are not distracted by the future or regretting the past. You can then respond from your heart.[/shareable]

If you are simply present and just breathe, pay attention to what’s going on, listen, really pay attention, a lot of the negativity, a lot of the things that can pull you down will just dissipate because you are in the MOMENT and it’s amazing what that does for your life. (Read The Power of Now)

Bonus Tip: Energy Shifting Tool

And I think to tie it together with this, if I could just add, before you end up in those conversations with the person or being around the person, you could also take time just to MEDITATE and that’s a real key way of being present.

[callout]How to Start Meditating Using the Release Technique/[/callout]

If you know you’re going into that situation, just stop for twenty minutes before and just go into the bathroom or something, and stop for ten minutes and MEDITATE and just get your mind calm and peaceful that when you’re in the situation, you are present and you are able to really respond from your heart.

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2. Accept What You Cannot Change

Now the next one, point number two that I would like to suggest is don’t resist the situation, don’t be fighting it. This is a really key thing and that is, what we resist persists. The more you fight, the more you oppose people or situations or things, the stronger they become in your life and the stronger they attack you.

Not necessarily the people attack you, but the influences, they tend to grow and they tend to be exaggerated. But if you can just learn to accept it, ACCEPT that you are here because then the SOLUTIONS, the ANSWERS, the ideas will come to you from that open place of acceptance.

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone” text=”SOLUTIONS, ANSWERS, and IDEAS will come to you from an open place of acceptance.”]ACCEPT the situations you are in. Then SOLUTIONS, ANSWERS, and IDEAS will come to you from that open place of acceptance.[/shareable]

One thing that I want to say though is that I am not in any way belittling or negating the difficulty that it is to be in such a situation, I know that it’s a very trying situation, but these are things that help to bring light into your relationships and into your situation.

3. This Is Tough But Doable

And point number three is learn to LOVE and FORGIVE in spite of their faults. You know, even if they get under your skin, they really bother you, just, in your heart, even if they’re not asking for your forgiveness just let it go, just learn to forgive, learn to be at peace with the way they are, that you won’t necessarily change them, and that you forgive them; either for hurt, or for negativity or whatever it is that they are bringing into your life. And learn to love them.

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]Let it go, just learn to forgive, learn to be at peace with the way others are.[/shareable]

4. This Time Proven Action Step Works

And don’t just learn to love them.

Learn to love them in the way that they feel and that they understand love, because when you love someone in spite of the negativity and the problems and the way that you feel they are bringing their influence in your life in a bad way and you’ve turned around and instead of like feeling like you can’t bear with this anymore, give love and you might find that that love is reflected back from them, that you will receive that love and that your relationship will become a positive one, you will be in a position of power.

Book Recommendation: The 5 Love Languages

And I would strongly recommend, this is a book that I read recently, it’s called The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and I’ll put a link in the post.

I definitely recommend that you check it out and you will find that  in those relationships if you learn to love in the “language” that really means something to them, they will feel the love and they will be less prone to be negative, they will be less prone to either attack or bring you down, because when love is in the air, MAGIC happens, things really go differently. (Read The 5 Love Languages)

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]Learn to love in the “language” that really means something to others.[/shareable]

Also, if you understand your love language, you can learn how to make requests that are meaningful to you. And you may be surprised they may be willing to give you love in the way that it’s IMPORTANT to you.

Don’t be thrown off  by the fact that this is written for love relationships, they also work very much in friendships and family and I think he has a few books that follow up on it as parents or in friendships, but it’s a really big key that you might find could be just the answer that you need.

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Okay, now let me leave you with a quote for today:

[shareable cite=”Lindsey Vonn”]It’s amazing. Life changes very quickly in a very positive way, if you let it. #quote[/shareable]

Here is your affirmation for today, be sure to post it by your bed and really visualize yourself, feel yourself becoming this new person.  Say it in the morning when you wake up, three times, say it in the evening before you go to bed:

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]The more I focus my mind on the good, the more good comes to me. #affirmation[/shareable]