A young gentleman called me a few weeks ago saying: “Hi Katrin is there a book you would recommend to me about success or anything of that sort?” I thought, “hmm ‘anything of that sort’ sounds rather general”. Even ‘success’ sounds broad and undefined. What is success anyway? I’d suppose success has as many different definitions as there are people, as for each one of us success takes on a different meaning.

What does it take for you to feel successful?

Commonly success is referred to achieving some desired outcome or goal which allows the person to have something in their life which they value, such as more money, or position, a dream relationship, or the body shape that makes them feel attractive, or something else. Immediately they focus on figuring out what they need to DO in order to HAVE what they want. Yet a few weeks down the line, in spite of working hard to do what others advise them to, you might see them back at square one, despondently claiming “nothing works”.

Why wouldn’t the “DO” always lead to the desired “HAVE”? – Because the “DO” on its own will not do much, unless … it’s preceded by a very important third part of the equation: the “BE”, which has to do with the thinking.

So going back to my Skype conversation with the young gentleman, my spontaneous answer to his question was: “I would highly recommend Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill”. And the reason why I recommend this book is because it deals with this first very important “thinking” part, which precedes the “doing”.

There is a good reason why it’s titled ‘THINK and Grow Rich’ and not Work Hard and Grow Rich or Get a Job and Grow Rich…
– Robert Kiyosaki

“…It’s not what you have to ‘do’ that needs to change”, expounds Kiyosaki, “It’s first how you “think” that needs to change. In other words, it’s who you have to ‘be’ in order to ‘do’ what needs to be done. … it’s not the diet that counts; it’s who you have to be to follow the diet that counts … A diet will not help if your thoughts do not change.

“And when it comes to money, many people try ‘to do’ what the rich do and ‘to have’ what the rich have. … They would often buy big houses and invest in the stock market because that is what they thought the rich did. Yet, if they still thought and had the beliefs and ideas of a poor or middle-class person, and then did what the rich did, they would still wind up having what the poor and middle class have.” (selected quotations.)

Remember:

“It’s not what you have to ‘do’ that needs to change. It’s first how you ‘think’ that needs to change. In other words, it’s who you have to ‘be’ in order to ‘do’ what needs to be done.

– Rich Dad’s CASHFLOW Quadrant”

Therefore my conviction is that

Coaching is about:

  • Strengthening your thoughts – “BE”
  • So that you can take the action – “DO”
  • That will enable you to achieve your goals – “HAVE”

 

Even though coaching is focused on setting goals, and achieving forward motion through concrete action plan, as a coach I believe that even more importantly than creating the right to-do list, is the internal shift that happens during the coaching relationship and process which empowers the client to adopt the right type of thinking to enable him to achieve the new type results he is seeking in his life.

In other words, one of the main benefits of working with a coach is that it can strengthen a person’s thinking, empowering him to make the kind of decisions which will lead to the appropriate action to enable him to reach what he is aiming at.

Assignment:

  • Ponder: What is important for you to have in your life?
  • Answer: a.“Who do I need to be – or not to be – in order to have what I want?” and b.“What needs to be different in the way I think in order to have that?”

So on this one thing Hamlet was right: To BE or not to BE is truly the question. That’s where it all starts. The “DO” will follow as a byproduct of your thinking. The correct types of thoughts will propel you to the correct course of action. It’s the thinking that creates the action which leads you to the results you commit to “having”.


Question: What resources have you come across that have helped you in reaching your goals and finding the success you’ve attained? You can leave a comment by clicking here.