3 Easy Coaching Tips You Can Use to Help Anyone

As a parent and a life coach I was not able to get myself to make that leap and bring coaching into my family circle. Seeing the benefits in the lives of my clients should have been reason enough to share this treasure with my kids, but I wasn’t. I believe the main reason was, old habits die hard. I was brought to my knees, not by my child, but by the magnitude of what she was dealing with, even at a young age. My usual parenting style was not working, I gave up and put on my coaching hat.

Raising a family is no small matter and one day I was overwhelmed by all their needs and I was focusing on their schooling. I was concerned about my preteen daughter in particular. Last school year she didn’t seem to be enjoying school or doing very well with her grades. I knew she needed to start with a change in her attitude and in her ability to learn how to relax and enjoy school. (more…)

Coaching is for Achievers

A friend of mine told me of a girl he knew who had been working with a coach. She only recently discovered what coaching is all about and was very inspired to notice how it was making a difference for her. She shared her enthusiasm about having a coach with some friends of hers. One of them who claimed to know about coaching apparently replied with a comment along the lines of: “Oh, it’s so commendable, dear, to hear you being honest and open about having a coach. Most people don’t want others to know when they are receiving help.” The girl was taken aback a bit by the remark and went back to my friend full of questions why someone would have such a perspective on coaching.

When I heard her story I felt rather saddened by this apparent misconception of what coaching is all about.

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Coaching and Therapy Compared

In very simplistic terms, most forms of therapy focus on what ‘has happened’ i.e. the problem and the past, whereas coaching focuses on what ‘is possible’, in other words, the solution and the future.

Boundaries between coaching and therapy

Some of the main differences between each approach are outlined below – courtesy of Noble Manhattan Coaching Ltd.:

Therapy

Takes a client from a place of ‘dysfunction’ to ‘function’
Sessions usually take place face-to-face.
Therapy is most suited to people who are working with quantifiable dysfunctions such as depression, addictions or old traumas.
A therapist is non directional.
The patient is helped to resolve old and painful issues and to cut through old defenses.
The therapist listens for feelings, conflicts and any signs of underlying dysfunction and then reflects these back to the patient.
Therapists are less likely to refer out to other professionals.
The therapist will follow the patient on any valid exploration of feelings.
Therapy is usually described in terms of ‘progress’ and outcomes are harder to measure.
Therapists look for the causes behind problems or poor performance.
Therapists tend to be reactive, exploring problems and behaviors as they arise.
Most forms of therapy are now subject to either voluntary or statutory regulation and have well established boundaries.
Therapists usually believe that knowledge of the problem is necessary in order to ‘find’ the solution.

 

Similarities between Coaching and Therapy

However there are also many valid similarities between Coaching and Therapy and a summary of these is outlined below:

* Both disciplines can be said to have their roots in psychology.

* Both professions are client-centred, relying on being non-judgemental and holding the client in unconditional positive regard (Carl Rogers Humanistic Psychology)’.

* Although coaching is not therapy many therapeutic models can be of value in the coaching relationship. Particularly those drawn from Solution Focused or Brief Therapy, Transactional Analysis, Neuro Linguistic Programming and others.

* Both assist the client to become aware of their inner ‘self talk’ and how this impacts on their outer experienced reality.

* In terms of transactional analysis, both aim to conduct the relationship from the position of ‘adult’.

* Both professions require the practitioner to be appropriately trained, qualified and insured. Both require excellent listening skills and are ‘helping’ relationships based on trust and integrity as well as skill and experience.

* Both disciplines are based on an empowering practitioner/client relationship with the focus being on the well-being and ‘functioning’ of the client. Both use enhanced listening skills to process and reflect what is being said.