3 Keys to Regretting Fewer Missed Opportunities (by Overcoming Fear Sooner)

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Transcription:

I wasn’t even sure what to call this post. I was toying with something between My Roller Coaster Horror Story or Traumatized From a Child.

The Learned Beliefs That Keep You Back

But, it’s about those comfort zones, those learned beliefs, those learned limits that we accept and that we sort of hold on to from the time we’re very young, in many cases.

It’s all about that programming and what you can do to today to reprogram your mind, to reprogram those fears, to reprogram those beliefs.

I have this post-it note and it’s on my cupboard door in my bedroom. I see it every day and the post simply says this:

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]I act in spite of fear. #affirmation[/shareable]

But, I never realized the impact this was gonna have on me.

I was using it in my business, to get me to move forward, but a few weeks ago some friends invited me for Halloween rides and events that they were holding at the recreational park in our city.

I decided to go along but I was pretty sure I was not going to go on any of the roller coaster rides, because my experience and my belief about that was, that is scary, and I don’t want to be scared. It was just plain and simple.

I got there and…

I want you to pay attention to some of the details of my story, because in the story I want you to notice the things that were keys to my growth and to my change.

Maybe you don’t really to grow in the area of accepting roller coasters, or getting over your fear of that, but there could be something else in your life where you could apply these lessons and take these three steps to move you forward.

Where My Fear Was Rooted and That Magic Post-It

It all started back when I was a teenager, probably about twelve or thirteen, but I was living in Honduras.

My Mom, well meaning as she was, took me to a carnival ride. I guess in Honduras, they don’t have any settings or gauges on how fast ferris wheels should go around.

So, we climbed on this ferris wheel. When it started going, it was not your normal slow ride where you’re sitting there and enjoying the view.

It was actually trucking. At least that’s the way it felt to me. It was moving. When it came over the edge it was just this drop and it was too fast for me.

I felt all this anxiety and fear, and my whole body felt like I was falling and I was gonna die.

[shareable]What have you promise yourself you would never do? #question[/shareable]

From that moment on I was afraid of any ride with any height and any speed. I just insisted, “I’m never gonna do this again. I’m not gonna let myself be in that position where I’m gonna experience that kind of fear.

Well, little did I know, this affirmation that I have posted was working on my programing and changing me.

Time Doesn’t Fix Everything

The next step in this journey was many years later, probably about twelve years later or fifteen years later. I don’t know for sure.

I was with my little daughter and my wife and with friends. We were in Poland, in the North, in the Baltics.

We were at a carnival that was passing through. We went in to just check it out. We were shooting and playing different games, and we got to a roller coaster.

I had never been on a roller coaster at all. Once with the ferris wheel and that was it.

I looked up and it was maybe two or three stories high. I felt, “This is small. I’m not afraid like I was when I was a kid.”

Then I got on it and when it took that first drop, all those fears came back again and I thought, “I can’t believe I did this, I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’m in this position again. Ok, never again.”

I decided not to do it again, but I survived.

Then, we fast forward another ten or fifteen years. This was about four years ago when I went to SixFlags in Texas.

Only a Big Enough “Why” Will Get You Beyond Your Comfort Zone

We were in SixFlags and we were going around doing some smaller rides and having fun. Then the kids really wanted to go on a rollercoaster.

I did not want to imprint my fear on them. I did not want to push them into it.

[shareable]I did not want to imprint my fear on my children. #fear[/shareable]

I wanted them to experience it and them to make the decision as to whether this is something they like, or not.

I got on it for them. I was thinking, “Oh God, it was horrible the last time. I don’t why I’m doing this.”

I just knew that I was doing it for them, so I sat down and we went on the ride.

The first drop was bad but then we enjoyed it. It was great. I actually enjoyed it.

I got a rush and it was just so fun.

[shareable]I learned to let go. #letgo[/shareable]

Baby Steps Can Get You There

I was like, “Okay, but I’m not going to go on the biggest ones.” I never did. I think it was the Hercules they called it in SixFlags and I wasn’t going to go on that.

Some of my nieces and nephews went on it. My kids kept their distance and just watched.

Fast forward again until just a few weeks ago.

I was going with some close friends of mine and we decided let’s go to the halloween party with haunted houses.

They have rides. It’s a permanent theme park, a big one, here in the city of Guangzhou.

As we went, I was thinking, “I’m not gonna tell them.” I mean I told them that I don’t like it and that I wasn’t gonna go on it.

The were all just moving along. There was a group of about four or five of us and they said, “Let’s go on the big ride.”

I was thinking, “I’m going to sit here and watch… No I’m not going to sit here and watch. Why am I going to sit here and watch? Look, they’re going on it. Do I want to be the one left out. He can handle it, she can… she’s never been on one before.”

I thought, “Okay, I can try it and give it a shot.”

[shareable]Just decide, ‘Okay, I’ll give it a shot.’ #overcomingfear[/shareable]

So I got on it and I was thinking, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

And That’s How Your Comfort Zone Grows

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]You see, that’s how you push your comfort zones. It’s a little bit at a time. #comfortzone[/shareable]

That was the biggest baddest one I’ve ever been on.

Sure enough that first drop… I just closed my eyes and screamed with all my might. Then I got past that one and there was another drop.

Yeah, it was bad, but it wasn’t the end of my world. It was a fear that could life through and survive. In fact I enjoyed it. I really enjoyed the ride.

I wanted to go on it again but we ran out of time and I went on some other ones that were pretty scary too.

The fact is I started to enjoy these things and I moved beyond my personal limits, the ones I had decided on, the ones that I had connected to an experience I had when I was young.

Your Limits are Blown Away Here

Now, I have three steps I want you to use to move you into anything that you need to move into, that you’re afraid of, that you’re uncomfortable with.

• It could be public speaking.
• It could be that you want to meet someone.
• Maybe it’s doing something new with your family.
• Maybe you need to do something in your personal life or in your business.

What is it that you want to push forward in?

• Maybe you want a new house.
• Maybe you want to get out of a difficult situation or a bad relationship.

Whatever it is that’s go you afraid and you have a reference that’s keeping you in that fear, I want you to use these three steps to move you forward.

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1. Recall a time in your past when that fear or that belief was set.

It may not be your very earliest experience but you have one. You’ll remember one.

Infact, I was doing this with my coach the other day. I was working on some other things, some issues that I was personally dealing with. It was some rules that I have for living that were keeping me bound.

She asked me to do this exercise. It was amazing how clear that was in my brain.

It was just like this thing I have with roller coasters, where I have a very clear original belief that I set, after going around that ferris wheel.

So, what is your original story that you’re going back to, the thing that you’re telling yourself over and over again?

How did that experience feel?

Who was there?

Relive it in full strength.

What is it that told you that you have to believe this way or be this way, or you can’t have this thing?

2. Find your motivator.

I think this is a very important one, because your motivator has been been present it all those experiences, in the ones where you’ve done something new or areas where you’ve grown you know that there’s something that moved you forward.

In my case I look back and it’s someone close to me.

In the first experience where I probably wasn’t even sure about that ferris wheel, my mother was with me.

She went with me and that gave me the courage to get on that first ride, but once I experienced the fear I thought, “That’s it.”

Then, when I went with my daughter to the carnival ride. I was like, I’m gonna get on that, and she was sitting down watching me.

I thought, “I’m gonna do this for her. I’m an adult. I need to be strong for her, so I did it for her.”

Again at SixFags, sure enough, my kids again.

Then this last time, when I went on the biggest one, I was with friends, I was with people I cared about and interested in. I wanted to be a part of that group. That pulled me into moving forward there.

What motivates you?

What is moving you forward?

What is going to move you past your comfort zones?

3. You’ve just gotta take action.

You have to move forward. Take baby steps if you will.

It took me a good thirty years to get from the smallest to the biggest ride. I think that’s a bit slow in most cases and I wish I’d had a chance to push my limits further sooner and enjoy those rides sooner and be a part of that fun, a part of that rush and excitement.

Why wait? Why hold back?

Start taking steps, the bigger the better, but if you can’t take a big one, take a baby step.

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[shareable cite=” Ashton Kutcher” text=”As long as you’re uncomfortable, it means you’re growing. #quote”]I’m continually trying to make choices that put me against my own comfort zone. As long as you’re uncomfortable, it means you’re growing. [/shareable] [shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]A whole new world awaits me as I courageously travel out of my comfort zone! #affirmation[/shareable]