3 Steps To Navigating Communication You Dread [Video]

Watch the Video

Transcript:

Today I would like to give you a special tool you can starting using right away in your communication.

Communication is essential to any area of our life, any endeavor, if you want a good relationship, if you want to raise your children well, if you want good communication in the workplace, or anything that requires working with other people.

So, this tool is one that recently I had it clarified for me. I’m attending online webinars in a course from a man named Harv Eker. You may have heard about him.

Anyway, he shared this idea.

Formula Managing Potentially Messy Communication Problems

He refined it to a very simple structure that you can take and use and I would like to share it with you.
This something that I personally found that I have a knack in, I’ve had a talent in over the years. I haven’t been able to refine it or be able to give words in it.

It basically goes like this:

Whenever you are faced with a situation, a person has a lot of energy, a lot of negative energy, there is tension or they are bothered by something, a little bit frustrated with you or even are angry at you.

When you are faced with that and you want to be able to communicate, you want to be able to make it through to the other side of the this difficult conversation, there is a simple format that you can use.

Listen

You start first by simply sitting down and talking in a very calm, relaxed, welcoming way. Allow them to share their mind, allow them to share their grievances and whatever you need to get off their chest.

Simply answer with the words “I understand.”

Just keep that basic answer going as you listen and you really hear them out. Not waiting for your chance to butt in with your answer or give them a retort or to clarify something.

Simply really take the time to understand. Listen to their heart and express it verbally with the two words “I understand.”

Share

Then once all the energy is diffused and the situation is not as big and as blown up in their mind as it had been previously and they are feeling heard and listened to, it’s your turn.
You simply say “I understand and” not “but”, “and whenever you say this, I feel this way.”

Cooperate

You can own your feelings, you can own your reactions and just simply say that “”Whenever you say this, and whenever you do this, I feel this way.”
The next part would be to say, “and my request is this…”

You can use that structure in three parts:

1. Take the time to really understand.
2. Take a moment to present how you feel, how it makes you feel, no “but”, just simply say “and I feel this way.”
3. Simply reply and say “and my request is…” and you will see how it will turn things around.

Very few people can be left with all that negative energy and be stuck in that place, when you really take the time to understand.

That is the first need they have. They really want to be heard out. They want to know that you care, that you do understand.

Once they know that you understand, and they really believe you, they are more eager to listen and willing to listen and understand your part in return.

Here is a funny quote from Mark Twain, he said:

The difference between the right words and the almost right words is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.”

– Mark Twain

It helps if you can make a habit of trying to improve and work on your communication and get better at it, which is why I gave you this tool.

To close here is an affirmation that you can use.

Affirmation:

My ability to communicate is enhanced by my ability to listen.”

This is Abe Stone

Take care!