What do these all have in common?
I read a story about an eagle, which had been chained so long to a stake in the ground that he had worn a rut in the ground, by going around and around it.
The bird was getting old. Its master felt sorry for it and thought, “I’m going to set it free!” He took the metal ring off of its foot. Then he took the eagle and tossed it into the air. What do you suppose happened? (more…)
A natural reaction to failure can be to pull back and not try again. Having been negatively affected by failure, it’s easy to feel we’re doing the right thing when we try to help others or our children avoid failure and not end up in difficult situations.
The moment I fail, I know I’m at the point of a breakthrough in learning. It’s the point where the new me emerges.
– Robert Kiyosaki
Author of Rich Dad Poor Dad
My 8 years old daughter walked up to me with her iPad in her hand, looking a little down. She had accidentally changed a setting and was locked out of being able make changes to the apps she had installed. She is a naturally curious person and in all her exploring on the iPad she had set a restricting password and forgot it.
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How are those New Years resolutions doing? I personally didn’t bother this year as I didn’t want to keep adding to my list of failures. Ha!
I know that doesn’t sound politically correct, but instead I wanted to know that I was making commitments and setting goals I would accomplish. Don’t get me wrong. I love the way the year starts, fresh, and full of promises but getting caught up in the excitement of the new and making a long list of things we want to change doesn’t seem to cut it for most people. And I am no exception. (more…)
It was the end of a long tiring day and I got news that the Coaching Really Works website was not working on the Internet Explorer platform. I was frustrated to say the least.
I went on with my evening with my family and tried to relax and enjoy the dinner and fun and games after dinner. But there was this feeling in my chest. This together with other pressures of business were giving me a nagging, emotionally depressing feeling. I kept trying to shake it off. It wasn’t working. It just stayed. (more…)
I don’t like making mistakes. I prefer doing the right things and doing them well.
Yesterday I accidentally got my schedule mixed up and was late for an appointment and missed it all together. It was not the end of the world. However, the fact being that I don’t like making mistakes, this was not easy. On top of it, it did cost me some money in loss of business. I don’t like loosing money either. This sent me for a tailspin in my mind, kicking myself and labeling myself as a failure and so on. (more…)
I watched the video by Bob Proctor about perception on the Six Minutes to Success site. I had heard of or read about the topic before, regarding paradigms and the need to be aware of different points of view and how to change them. And felt I got it and was doing fine. Good presentation! I knew it related well to something I have to do today! I accepted that and found five very different unique points of view which I was not accepting, as I was focused on only one. Wow! What and eye opener!
Later I was going through Bob’s articles and I saw one that caught my attention. “It isn’t easy to make money”. Curious, I opened it and started to read. Very good content about the wrong beliefs regarding making money. The funny thing is, that actually, by the end of the article it seemed easy to make money. “What’s wrong with the title”, I thought. I looked again. Whoa, it’s actually titled “It’s easy to make money”. Alarm bells went off!
I realized how little self-awareness I have on the topic of perception. I’ve prided myself in being a very perceptive person, very open and able to see the bigger picture easily. But here I was, I had a very narrow focus obstructing my ability to see anything else, literally. Going back in time a little, I’d been in a thought pattern of lack and concerned about mounting bills and expenses, and not being able to pull out or get on top. I was trying a couple of new ideas to make more money and it was just not happening. So my perception was being influenced by these thoughts and I read words that weren’t even there. Difficulty and lack were my paradigm, my limiting belief.
How many times I must have done this in my life! I’m happy that I stayed with the article long enough to get a different perspective. I could have just spotted the title I thought I saw, agreed with what I thought I read and moved on. But I stayed, looked at the topic a bit more, and by taking time to read and pay attention to what was being said in the article, my perception changed. What’s more important is, that not only did my perception change regarding the article, but I was made aware of how I was filtering things through and negative, limiting belief, which I believe in turn was affecting the results I was getting, and would have continued getting, had I not made this adjustment.
Life is now great and full of opportunities. I’m looking forward to my day and going into it with a new perception. A new belief. A new paradigm. I know things will be different because I’m not holding on to the limitations I was insisting were so real.
In very simplistic terms, most forms of therapy focus on what ‘has happened’ i.e. the problem and the past, whereas coaching focuses on what ‘is possible’, in other words, the solution and the future.
COACHING |
Therapy |
| Takes a client from a place of ‘function’ to ‘enhanced function’ | Takes a client from a place of ‘dysfunction’ to ‘function’ |
| Meetings can take place on the telephone or the internet as well as face to face. | Sessions usually take place face-to-face. |
| Coaching is most suited to people who are ‘healthy’ and who wish to move forward to a higher level of functioning. | Therapy is most suited to people who are working with quantifiable dysfunctions such as depression, addictions or old traumas. |
| Coaches usually request ‘action’ from the client whilst being ‘unattached’ to the outcomes of those requests. | A therapist is non directional. |
| Coaching focuses on the solution and the future rather than the problem and the past. | The patient is helped to resolve old and painful issues and to cut through old defenses. |
| Coaches encourage and request proactive behavior and do not allow for large amounts of ‘negative’ time. | The therapist listens for feelings, conflicts and any signs of underlying dysfunction and then reflects these back to the patient. |
| Coaches refer out for specific needs such as therapeutic, legal or financial advice. | Therapists are less likely to refer out to other professionals. |
| A coach will help the client establish clear values, goals and outcomes. | The therapist will follow the patient on any valid exploration of feelings. |
| Coaching is usually seen in the light of measurable performance. | Therapy is usually described in terms of ‘progress’ and outcomes are harder to measure. |
| Coaching seeks and reinforces new competencies and behaviors. | Therapists look for the causes behind problems or poor performance. |
| Coaching is pro-active and seeks to recognize and avert problems before they arise. | Therapists tend to be reactive, exploring problems and behaviors as they arise. |
| Coaching is a ‘new profession’ and is as yet ‘unregulated’ and exploring its own boundaries from within. | Most forms of therapy are now subject to either voluntary or statutory regulation and have well established boundaries. |
| Coaches do not focus on the problem before addressing the solution and directing clients to their own inner resources. | Therapists usually believe that knowledge of the problem is necessary in order to ‘find’ the solution. |
However there are also many valid similarities between Coaching and Therapy and a summary of these is outlined below:
* Both disciplines can be said to have their roots in psychology.
* Both professions are client-centred, relying on being non-judgemental and holding the client in unconditional positive regard (Carl Rogers Humanistic Psychology)’.
* Although coaching is not therapy many therapeutic models can be of value in the coaching relationship. Particularly those drawn from Solution Focused or Brief Therapy, Transactional Analysis, Neuro Linguistic Programming and others.
* Both assist the client to become aware of their inner ‘self talk’ and how this impacts on their outer experienced reality.
* In terms of transactional analysis, both aim to conduct the relationship from the position of ‘adult’.
* Both professions require the practitioner to be appropriately trained, qualified and insured. Both require excellent listening skills and are ‘helping’ relationships based on trust and integrity as well as skill and experience.
* Both disciplines are based on an empowering practitioner/client relationship with the focus being on the well-being and ‘functioning’ of the client. Both use enhanced listening skills to process and reflect what is being said.
“At the time, at home with the kids (it made no economical sense to enter the workforce when daycare for two babies would be more than any paycheck I would bring in) I worked odd jobs from home to help supplement the income, and we lived very frugally in a two-bedroom apartment, drove old and used cars, skipped on things like cable, eating out and such, but on one modest income we struggled to pay even the bills we did have.” (more…)
