What does it mean to have “Life Balance”? Most likely if you ask any 10 people on the street, you will get 10 different answers.
We need to understand that what our life balance looks like at 25 is not what it will be when we are 55 and will be different that when we are retired. This is due to our priorities changing.
Janice has been coaching for more than two decades. She loves helping others understand, why they believe what they do and why they hold that belief, for it is the key to every decision a person makes. Janice lives in California with her husband of 40 years and has two married daughters and a precious new grandson.[/guestpost]
As a professional coach, I encounter folks just like yourself who hire me to help them achieve a goal, overcome a challenge, or to solve something in their lives. The first thing I do with them is to give them a list of questions which basically ask them to get honest with themselves and rate where they are on a simple 1 to 10 scale of where they are in each area of their lives. Coaches call this a “Life Wheel”.
Would you like to try it? Great! I knew you would want to see if you are balanced or not! Let’s get started.
Simply read the area of life and give each one a number as to where you are today. If you give yourself a “1” in the life area of say, finances, this means your finances are in shambles, you have no budget and you do not know what you owe or whom you owe it to. If you score yourself at say a “10”, this means you have a budget, you pay your bills on time, or that you are debt free, you plan and save for big expenditures, and you know how much you have in the bank, in investments, and are financially sound.
Most of us have between 8 to 12 areas in our lives which are common to all of us. If one of the areas does not apply to you now, simply skip it. If there is a life area, which is not on this list, simply add it and score that area of life.
- Personal Environment or Your Home —- I am _____today
- Giving Back or Volunteering —- I am _____ today
- Family or Parenting —- I am _____ today
- Finances —- I am _____ today
- Safety —- I am _____ today
- Growth Opportunities
So, how did you do?
The next step here is to get real about where you are and where you would like to be in this thing called “living” at how you can move that number up a couple of notches. No one is 100% balanced all the time…life happens. There will be seasons of sadness and sorrow, and seasons of joy, new beginnings and then the daily task of living life.
It is my experience that when we spend too much time in one area of our lives, the other areas suffer. Let me explain for you here, most likely you spend a great deal of time at work and you find that you have little time for fun, family time, volunteering, and attending to your own personal growth.
[shareable cite=”Janice Bastani”]When we spend too much time in one area of our lives, the other areas suffer.[/shareable]What does this do in your life? Several things come to mind right away like, burnout, cynical mindset and remarks, relationships deteriorate with loved ones, you become stagnate in the workplace due to lack of new skills and knowledge.
Sound familiar?
I know, we have such good intentions, and each small decision to work later, to skip that event, that missed play your child was in, the soccer game you missed last week, the all too familiar answer to: “would you be able to help us with our food drive for the scout troop?” No I do not have time right now. I do not have time to fit one more thing into my already packed schedule! With each decision we take an off-ramp and pretty soon we are wondering how we got where we are today.
We make time for what we value most in life.
The higher the number on that list above is an indication of what you value most. Conversely, the lower the number indicates the areas in your life that you value the least. Hey look, no arguing here. I hear you. You are saying things like, “I value …” well the numbers do not lie. You put your most valuable asset – your time – where you hold the most value.
[shareable cite=”Janice Bastani”]You put your most valuable asset – your time – where you hold the most value.[/shareable]How do I go about getting more balanced in my life? There is a billion dollar industry out there full of “self-help” books, and another billion-dollar industry of online programs and seminars promising to help you balance your life. Do you know why there is such a high demand for these programs and books? It isn’t hard to figure out, we are in search of the “quick-fix”, the “magic silver bullet”, that one thing that is going to resonate with us and we can just turn our lives around without doing any of the hard work and decision making involved in change.
Ask yourself this question again with each of those life areas:
What would it take me to move the number up one or two numbers?”
Your answer will look like this:
In order to move this number from a ___ to a ___ I want to _________________________________________________”
Be honest. You only cheat yourself by being unrealistic. If it helps, you might want to write each of the life areas on a separate sheet of paper and do these exercises again.
Okay, now you have the “what you want to do to raise the number one or two points”, so what is stopping you from moving the number?
[It is important to note here the verbiage used. You will notice I did not say “I need to”, I said “I want to”….there is a huge difference in mind shift here between need, which implies one has to do something like homework. Using the word “want” says this; I am feely choosing to do this. ]
If you do not have an excuse or “story” [“your story” is the well-crafted story woven over time to justify why we are the way we are or why we are the victim in our own lives.] then, when will you begin? How long will it take you to form this new mindset of getting to a place of balance in your life?
[shareable cite=”Janice Bastani” text=”“Your story” is the well-crafted story woven over time to justify why we are the way we are.”]“Your story” is the well-crafted story woven over time to justify why we are the way we are or why we are the victim in our own lives.[/shareable]The way you know you are going in the right direction is, life will feel different. We must be able to measure ourselves in order to know if we are moving forward. So, periodically do these two simple exercises again, and see for yourself.
Change happens in small incremental steps, small moves, one “no” after another, a simple placing of a boundary where there once was none and so on.
One of my mentors once remarked, “You cannot give what you do not have.” If you are running on empty you have nothing left to give away.
[shareable]You cannot give what you do not have.[/shareable]Think of yourself as your checking account. If you are constantly in a pattern of living where all you do is “withdraw” from yourself, then you will quickly run out of time, energy, positive outlook and hat smile will be upside down. If on the other hand you begin to make regular “deposits” into your own life and begin to balance your personal life and your professional life, you will be calmer, focused, you will smile more and your outlook on life will improve drastically.
Now you have some very simple things you can do to live a more balanced life and you didn’t have to go out and buy a book, or pay for seminar where you get all hyped up and go home and forget everything you just heard.
[reminder]I would love to know what you are doing to become more balanced. Please leave your comments below. Also, if you came across a great way to move your number up by one or two points, tell the rest of us so we can benefit from your knowledge. Again, please write a comment below.[/reminder]
