5 Things You Want to Do When You Have to Start Over

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I was thinking the other day as I was watching “The Mentalist” (TV Series), in so many of the episodes, they come to a point where they are just at a DEAD END, they don’t know what to do, they are stuck, they can’t solve the problem, they can’t find the answer, they can’t find the solution.

Sometimes it’s about finding murderers, others times it’s just about figuring out how did this happen, who did whatever crimes and different things. But the point that stuck out to me is how they very often came to this place where they  say, “Well, I guess we have to start over. Let’s just go back from the beginning and start over.”

Now in their particular case, they are starting over at the idea of needing to find the solution to a problem, to a mystery, to solve the mystery, to solve the situation.

In your life, your life is kind of like that, it’s a puzzle, you don’t know how it’s all going to turn out, you are putting pieces together as you go and sometimes you have to be okay starting over.

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]Life is a puzzle, you don’t know how it’s all going to turn out as you put the pieces together. Be okay starting over.[/shareable]

3 Tools You Can Use Today

Now I have a book by that title, So? Start Over; I mean, really. What’s the big deal? And it’s a little bit tongue-in-cheek and if you are interested in it check it out, it’s on Amazon, I will put the link below.

In the book, my main goal was really to give you three big tools, three big insights in how to make starting over possible, make it functional and I give you practical ideas that you can use to start over, practical tools that you can use and there’s work sheets and everything. Anyways, go check it out.

Click Here to Read So? Start Over! on Amazon

But today, I want to give you some more insights, I kind of want to expand on that idea and I want to give you, I have five ideas, five things to remember when you feel that you just might need to start over.

1. Forget Sunken Cost

The first one is, FORGET sunken cost. Now this is a business term, it’s a little bit technical, but this is something that’s really been a big part of my experience and you often are looking at what you have already INVESTED.

You’ve spent years in a relationship, or you’ve already built a career in this niche, or you’ve been investing so much in developing your business around a certain product, or you’ve been in a marriage that you really struggled with and it’s been very difficult for so many years and you’re just hoping that one more year, one more situation.

Experiencing Divorce

Now I am not knocking marriage, and I believe that we should fight to the end, but my experience, for example, if I could take that as an example, if you would allow me to tell you a quick story, is that when I came to the point where my marriage was over, it was time to let go.

I had to realize “Hey, it’s not the end of the world, I can start over, I can do something else with my life at this point. And I can keep my relationship healthy and good with my family, with my ex-wife and I CAN move on, I don’t have to let this derail me, it’s NOT the end of my life, I CAN start over.”

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]’Hey, it’s not the end of the world, I can start over, I can do something else with my life at this point.'[/shareable]

And it seemed like A LOT TO LET GO of fourteen years we had invested together as a couple and in our children, but we are still co-parenting and it’s great.

2. Speed Up Failure

Number two, when it comes to starting over, you may have to start over many times in something. Now particularly in business, I have heard that a lot about entrepreneurs, just being WILLING TO FAIL FASTER.

Because a lot of times we are so worried about not failing that we are preventing failure, we are prolonging failure, we are avoiding failure and we are not even trying things, we are not starting over, we are not letting go of the old things and just looking at it in new fresh eyes, getting in there, doing something new.

Sometimes it’s not even about letting go of what you have done, it’s just about finding NEW WAYS to do it.

3. Disconnect From Your Attachment to the Outcome

Number three is a difficult one for most of us and you’re going to find that number three and number four probably conflict a little bit okay; but number three I would like to suggest that attachment to the outcome is going to be the biggest thing that keeps you from being able to SUCCESSFULLY start over or even to achieve success.

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]Attachment to your desired outcome is going to be the biggest thing keeping you from starting over or even to achieve success.[/shareable]

You’ve got an idea, you know where you want to go, you know how it should be done, but being willing to have the outcome be different than you are EXPECTING, those expectations, they may not be the course that’s going to really make you happy or bring the BEST results or bring the success or be good for everybody in the END.

So don’t be so attached to the outcome that you think should be there. And that is one way to have that fluidity in your life and be able to start over when you need to.

[offer-box href=”http://sostartover.com” linktext=”Reminder: Have you checked out my book? I just released “So? Start Over!: Experience Clarity, Do What Matters, Live Your Dream” which includes worksheets, cheatsheets, and bonus material. Click here to check it out!” securecheckout=”true” footnote=”Get It on Amazon”]

4. Accept What You Might Resist

All right, now here is number four and that is ACCEPTANCE. It’s a huge deal for a lot of people and it just seems like the dumbest thing to say, “Well, you’ve got to accept the way things are”; but it’s not, there’s a lot of wisdom in that.

And what it is is that very often, what we resist, what we fight against, we attract more of in our life, because we are so actively aware of it and we are drawing it.

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]Often, what we resist, what we fight against, we attract more of in our life.[/shareable]

A person who sits there and just thinks about “I’ve got to pay off debt, I’ve got to pay off debt”, the debt just seems to never really to go anywhere.

But if you pay off some debt, and you work on investing and saving and putting money into other areas, you will find that as you move the focus away from debt, that debt will become manageable and it will begin  to go down because you are going to start LOOKING at life and opportunities very DIFFERENTLY.

So learn acceptance when you need to start over in a situation; “It is what it is, now I am going to move on and do something with it and do something about it.”

5. Take Massive Action

And number five is really simple, I am not going to go on about it, take big massive ACTION, take DECISIVE action in the direction that you are going. If you are starting over, cut ties and just go for it; take a huge STEP in the direction that you need to go, even if you can’t see clear to the end just START moving and the answers will come.

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All right, now here is your quote for today:

[shareable cite=”Guy Vinley”]Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over. #quote[/shareable]

And here’s your affirmation for today. Remember there is a simple rule, put it by your bed or on the mirror or in the kitchen, somewhere where you can see it in the morning when you wake up and before you go to bed at night. Say it three times every time you see it and really believe it. Picture yourself being this new person.

[shareable cite=”Abe Stone”]My choice is not to wallow in self-doubt, today is a new day, I am starting over. #affirmation[/shareable]